I know that I’m usually very positive and upbeat here…there’s good reason for that. I like this to be my place of happy The truth is, obviously there are ups and downs of my life. I previously have shared with you guys my struggle with depression..i’m lucky that at this point i’m not experiencing those blues very often anymore, but they do rear its ugly head from time to time. Unfortunately, this week was one of those pretty crappy times.
I’m not entirely sure what brought it on…there really isn’t any rhyme or reason to why I sink into those funks, but they happen. I haven’t had one this bad in a while. The only way I can explain it to you is that its a feeling of desperate sinking…like nothing is or ever will be ok again. Its the worst. Its not really something I can just open up and talk about because even when I try to articulate what i’m feeling…none of what I say will be 100% rational. Its a lot of different things built up. It’s been kind of a stressful month at work and I put a ton of pressure on myself to do well with my life and move forward. I want so many good things for my life but it’s a struggle. I wallowed for a few days this week and even though Kevin wasn’t around because he was working a lot…it wouldnt have mattered anyway because I tend to shut him out too because I don’t want to be a jerk or say something I don’t mean.
Phew, its hard to be honest about things sometimes. BUT the good thing is that i’m out of my funk. I spent a lot of time this week reading, running (endorphins baby!) and listening to vinyls that make me happy…especially this one
Seriously, how can Dirty Dancing not make you happy? (Caroline, you are the horrible exception to this rule so you’re out of this conversation!)
At the end of the day…I always think to myself, what is there to be truly depressed about? I’m healthy, I have wonderful family and friends and I have an amazing relationship…Dont worry, be happy I’m SO glad this week is coming to an end and i’m even happier that i’m out of my funk. Here’s hoping that I don’t have another one for a while!
Yesterday I woke up at 5:30 am with the intention to run..but I saw the steamy windows in my apartment from the humidity and all I could think about was running in the air conditioning on the treadmills at work during my lunch break. I was sold and happily crawled back into bed….damn you humidity! I did 5 miles on my lunch break and i’m pretty sure it was much more enjoyable then it wouldve been during the sticky morning outside.
Last night was date night and even though it was a tough week, me and Kev were happy to spend a little time together. We grabbed salads from saladworks and chilled together while watching Big Bang Theory DVDs…a very romantic dinner indeed:
A glass of wine was much needed for me after this week
Afterwards we headed to grab some fro-yo together…We love having our crossover SUV since the froyo place doesnt really have seating and its nice to open our trunk and just chill in the back, eating and chatting:
p.s. cinnamon toast crunch is an awesome addition to froyo, who knew?
Silliest face ever I’m sure he’ll love me even more when he sees I posted this picture.
This morning I woke up for spinning..I felt pretty full of energy. I KNEW fro-yo did a body good! I also rounded it out with 20 minutes of core-work..my least favorite but has to be done. A strong core makes for a stronger runner.
I know I sound completely douchey when I say this…but I really love having a bottle of this from time to time…its ridiculously refreshing to me:
Made my work morning much better!
So tomorrow morning is 72 with a 97% humidity factor…man, I have the best luck. I’m sure my 14 miles are going to be AWESOME! I’m planning on waking up before the sun rears its ugly head…ugh, wish me luck.
And with that, I’m off to cuddle with my pillow pet, watch my Jets play preseason football and carbload with lots of chocolate chips, quinoa, and ice cream. Not all together cause thats just plain gross.