I’m feeling a bit under the weather today so I actually ended up staying home from work. It mustve been a combination of what I had eaten over the weekend because it is just noooo bueno in my stomach right now.

Sometimes we just need days of rest, I find if I try to push my body too much and eat crappy things and not get enough sleep, it really takes its toll.

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Reflection time. Please excuse the messy hair and lack of makeup 🙂

I’ve come to the realization that food is always going to be a struggle for me. When I think of how I used to eat when I was bigger, I didnt have three square meals a day, it would often be just eating at sporadic times. I also had no concept whatsoever of portion sizes. I just was not very informed when it came to the topic of nutrition. I’d eat often out of boredom or when I was stressed or upset. I could say that I am an emotional eater. Its something that I have to constantly watch out for.

This is all still a learning process for me, even years later. I have to experiment with my diet but I try not to be TOO focused on it because i also have the tendency to really take it to an unhealthy level. I used to count every single calorie that went into my mouth and most days I tended to only eat about 800 calories max. It was rough, and I was always starving and exhausted. I wasnt really running back then, but I was still exercising alot and not eating nearly enough. My eating has been through both extremes: Overeating to an unhealthy level and then undernourishing to an unhealthy level. I had moments where I felt like I was going to pass out because I hadnt eaten enough. It was scary. Besides that, I was relying alot on lean cuisines and processed foods to get through my day. It just wasnt GOOD!

 

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This was me at my smallest, and probably my most miserable. It didnt matter how small I had gotten, what size I was getting into, I was still incredibly hard on myself. I wouldnt look in the mirror and be proud or loving, I would just still see how fat I was and how much work still needed to be done. Looking back on that time makes me pretty sad. I really hadnt learned how to properly nourish myself.

I believe that your body knows what your ideal weight is. It should be a weight that your body likes to stay at comfortably. I DO exercise alot, but I also eat alot to back that up. I went to El Salvador for two weeks over the summer where I couldnt run and I wasnt as active as I usually am…I ate balanced and healthy for the most part, and I didnt gain any weight. I know my body isnt meant to be rail thin, and thats absolutely okay. It just took me years to finally realize this.

I love eating healthy foods and I do not eliminate anything from my diet. I just believe that everything in moderation is okay. Some days I might want some pieces of chocolate and thats okay. Some days I just need to have french fries, and thats okay too. Some days will be better then others nutrition wise. The reason I am making this reflection is because I ate a little too much crap yesterday and my body is not liking me too much right now. I feel so much better when I’m eating healthy and balanced then when I’m putting fried, processed food into my body. My body treats me well if I take enough care to give to same consideration to it, you know? I’m not perfect. I have my days where I overeat. I have my days where the scale is up a couple pounds, but I cant beat myself up over it. Thats life. Sometimes I overindulge, but as long as I get back on track, in the long run, what does it matter? Life isnt fun if all you are doing is restricting yourself. You wont keep weight off by dieting your whole life. You keep weight off by trying to keep a generally healthy lifestyle. I have people that tell me “Oh, you run so much, you can eat whatever you want!”. That is just simply not true. It takes alot of work to keep myself at my weight. I have to eat healthy and I have to work at it. But thats fine with me because I really truly enjoy being active and I enjoy fruits, vegetables and healthy things!

Its totally true when they say you never stop learning…I’m still discovering new things every day. But I’m incredibly happy that my outlook on life and myself has changed into a much more positive mindset.

Have you found yourself struggling nutrition wise? Has there been times where you werent treating your body the best you couldve?

Happy monday everyone!!

 

 

 

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