Calories are obviously something necessary for energy and nutrition. Unfortunately, me and calories have been down a pretty bumpy road…

Calorie counting is something that I think can be an excellent tool for some people, but for me, I took it to a very obsessive level.

I grew up not ever really paying attention to what I ate, what the calories and nutritional content of certain foods were..none of it really mattered to me. It wasnt until I began this journey almost 5 years ago that I educated myself. I started reading online about dieting, reading magazines, getting as many tips as possible. I was looking at the labels on everything. I stumbled upon anoxeric/bulimic blogs online and was fascinated…these girls were documenting every single bite of what they put in their mouths…some of them surviving on only 2-300 calories a day. I was baffled. I exercised, so there was no way I could eat that little…but I did only allow myself just under 1000 calories a day for a while. I documented everything that I was eating. I was very particular about what I was eating as well…subsisting on granola bars, frozen meals and frozen fish and nonfat everything. My mind was in a very disordered place.

The skinnier I got, the more I pushed myself. I would exercise alot and not eat nearly enough to support how active I was. There were some days that I felt so weak and hungry but I convinced myself that I was being strong. It makes me sad to think back on that time. I had such a bad relationship with food. I would restrict harshly during the week and then binge on the weekends. I was obsessed with anything health and dieting related..I even used healthy tools such as sparkpeople.com and yet I couldnt get it through my head that I was overdoing it.

It wasnt until I began to run that I realized what I was doing to myself. I knew in order to get more into running, I would need to nourish myself more. Otherwise, I would never muster the energy that it would take. I still paid attention to my calories and let myself eat around 1900-2100 a day…depending on how long I was running, etc. I put on 10 pounds gradually. I’m not sure if it was because my body had been not properly nourished for so long that my metabolism slowed down…but I was okay with it. I didnt truly relax with myself until I started dating Kevin. I just came to the realization over time, that I cannot live my life constantly obsessed with calories. I learned the beauty of balance. I dont count my calories at all anymore, but thanks to all of the knowledge i’ve accumulated over the years, I have a general idea about the calories in most things. If i had to make a guesstimate, I probably eat anywhere from 1800-2200 calories a day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I just make sure I eat according to if I am hungry and I TRY to get the best quality calories I can get in there, but its always going to be a struggle. I love junk food a little too much! My key to maintenance is letting myself have mostly whatever I want, just in moderation. I also know that I have foods, like fried foods, that my body just doesnt like very much. I gain weight very quickly from those type of foods so I let myself have them a little more rarely. I’ve now lost 5 of the 10 pounds I had gained initially and I’m in a really happy place. I dont restrict myself and I’m still the same size and pretty healthy? SCORE!

I do think calorie counting can be an amazing tool for people who leave it in a healthy place. It just turned out to be more to my detriment in the end!

In other news, I decided to forego spinning this morning and instead did 45 minutes on the elliptical while reading magazines on the iPad (so much fun!!) and also 10 minutes of the stairmaster (that thing is a torture device) and then rounded it out with 25 minutes of leg weight training 🙂 Veryyy nice workout!

I’vd decided honeycrisp apples and mini nillas can make any Tuesday afternoon splendid:

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Dip these babies into nutella and youve got yourself quite a snack…nomnom.

I was debating for a while what to make myself for dinner and ended up making an egg salad sammich on a sandwich thin:

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I mixed in a little mayo and dijon mustard and it really hit the spot.

I just caught up a little on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and I’m endlessly amused with how crazy Kim Richards is…lol. I’m also exhausted and getting ready to hit the sack early…this girl has a 7 mile run on the agenda for early tomorrow a.m….lets hope its a good one 🙂

Do you calorie count? Have you struggled with food issues at all?

What did you eat last that completely hit the spot??