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I will let you in on an issue that I constantly struggle with…

Depression.

I know i’m not alone in this. There are many people that I know that struggle with the same issues…including family members. I’ve always struggled self-wise but I didnt truly realize my depression until after I lost my weight. Why is that? I thought the root of all my problems was my weight issue. I used to think, if I just lost weight…I would finally be happy. If I could be skinny, there would be no reason to be sad. All of the anger and resentment I feel towards everything is because i’m fat. I blamed everything on my weight.

Well, guess what happened?

I lost the weight and the sadness and anger was still there.

There are still days that I wake up and I feel so down that it feels hard to get out of bed. I feel hopeless and I cant entirely explain why. I’m anxious about the current state of things or when I think about my future. I want to cry just for the sheer fact that I’m sad. I’m angry at the world. I’ve learned to handle it well over the years..now it only truly affects me maybe once or twice a month where it feels overwhelming. A big part of learning to deal with my depression was finding my passion in exercise and running. Endorphins make us happy, right? πŸ™‚ I could’ve reached out to a therapist but I’d really rather not take medication if I can manage it myself. If things ever got truly bad, I would seek out other means of help. In my case, I’ve found what coping mechanisms work for me.

I woke up this morning and knew it was one of those days where I was going to struggle…these are some of the ways i’ve learned to cope:

***Going for a run!

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Running isnt the answer to ALL of my issues, but i’d be lying if I didnt say it has tremendously helped me. It enables me to think through things peacefully. The pounding on the pavement is therapeutic to me. I listen to music when I run too and it helps to push me farther then I’ve ever thought I can go. Music is one of my passions and the upbeat, fun music I listen to when I’m running is perfect! Running endorphins feel better then any drug I could ever think of.

***Crying to Kevin

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I’m not gonna lie, Kevin deals with a lot when it comes to me. I can be…not such a nice person when i’m struggling through these kind of days. Sometimes I’m crying at him and then snapping at him…he knows there is no way to make anything better except just to listen to me and have the patience of God. I’m incredibly lucky to have him as my rock πŸ™‚

***Give Nacho a big hug

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Nacho only just began living with me again but my puppy always makes me feel so much better. I love how he knows that I’m sad and tries to comfort me. The unconditional love between me and my dog always cheers me up.

***Thinking about my wonderful friends and family and how much we love each other

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I’m a pretty reserved and introverted person so I dont reach out to my family and friends as much as they would like…but I know they are always there for me and that thought alone can often get me through my moods.

I’m not an expert on any of this by any means…I just wanted to share some of my struggles and how I’m able to work through it πŸ™‚

So what was the first thing I did this morning? I ran on the treadmill for 7 hilly miles…I was feeling decent by the time it was done but still down. I talked to Kevin throughout the day and knowing I would get to come home to him tonight made me feel a lot better. I also feel cheery because I’ll get to spend time with my family and friends for my sisters birthday this weekend. Focusing on happy things is much better then focusing on depressing things.

Kevin won the perfect boyfriend badge for the night because he had dinner almost ready by the time I got home from work. We pulled some of Mama Schaibles sauce and meatballs from the freezer to have with pasta and salad tonight. Dont you just love those dinners that come together in a snap?

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Pasta is such a happy comfort food for me πŸ™‚ Cross-training is on the agenda for tomorrow but I am sure this will still be excellent fuel πŸ™‚

I’m glad I get to share these kind of things with you guys. I’m not a perfect person…there is no such thing. I try to be as happy as possible but you should know that I have my off days, just like everyone else. I want this place to be as positive as possible. I try to think about the glass half full for the most part.

And with that, YAY, its almost the end of the week! I love weeks that fly by.

Tell me…

What are some ways that you get over the blues?

Whats your favorite kind of pasta?

Some of your favorite salad toppings?? I’m always trying to think of new ones πŸ™‚


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